i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving
all the bibles into the fiction section bash.org
Allah will throw fear into the hearts of the disbelievers, and smite
their necks and fingers. (Quran 8:12)
Behold, I am rebuking your seed; and I will spread dung upon your
faces, even the dung of your appointed feasts. (Malachi 2:3)
And yes, it is crap that I deal with every day due to the lovely grey
area that is Linux kernel module licensing these days. I have
customers that demand we support them despite them mixing three and
more different closed source kernel modules at once and getting upset
that I have no way to help them out. I have loony video tweakers that
hand edit kernel oopses to try to hide the fact that they are using a
binary module bigger than the sum of the whole kernel and demand that
our group fix their suspend/resume issue for them. I see executives
who say one thing to the community and then turn around and overrule
them just because someone made a horrible purchasing decision on the
brand of laptop wifi card that they purchased. I see lawyers who have
their hands tied by attorney-client rules and can not speak out in
public for how they really feel about licenses and how to interpret
them. Greg Kroah-Hartman (linux-kernel, 14/12/2006)
Most of us would do well to remember that there is a reason Carmack is
Carmack, and we are not Carmack. Jonathan Blow (GD Algo Mailing List,
02/01/2006)
You know the trouble with the French, they don't even have a word for
'entrepreneur'. George W Bush
The future influences the present just as much as the past. Friedrich Nietzsche
And in whatsoever ye differ, the verdict therein belongeth to Allah.
(Quran 42:10)
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to
display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw
their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save
to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons
or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or
sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who
lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let
them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their
adornment. (Quran 24:31)
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the
believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad).
(Quran 33:59)
But as for those who disbelieve, garments of fire will be cut out for
them; boiling fluid will be poured down on their heads, Whereby that
which is in their bellies, and their skins too, will be melted; And
for them are hooked rods of iron. Whenever, in their anguish, they
would go forth from thence they are driven back therein and (it is
said unto them): Taste the doom of burning. (Quran 22:20-22)
Because of the wrongdoing of the Jews We forbade them good things
which were (before) made lawful unto them, and because of their much
hindering from Allah's way. (Quran 4:160)
Lo! Allah hath bought from the believers their lives and their wealth
because the Garden will be theirs: they shall fight in the way of
Allah and shall slay and be slain. It is a promise which is binding on
Him in the Torah and the Gospel and the Qur'an. Who fulfilleth His
covenant better than Allah ? Rejoice then in your bargain that ye have
made, for that is the supreme triumph. (Quran 9:111)
Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is
joined unto them shall fall by the sword. Their children also shall be
dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and
their wives ravished. Behold, I will stir up the Medes against them,
which shall not regard silver; and as for gold, they shall not delight
in it. Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they
shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not
spare children. (Isaiah 13:16-18)
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the
man, but to be in silence. (Timothy 2:12)
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God
uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have
long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it
is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
(Corinthians, 11:13-15)
And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with
dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. (Ezekiel 4:12)
Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more
stiffnecked. (Deuteronomy 10:16)
And the LORD said unto Moses, Fear him not: for I have delivered him
into thy hand, and all his people, and his land; and thou shalt do to
him as thou didst unto Sihon king of the Amorites, which dwelt at
Heshbon. So they smote him, and his sons, and all his people, until
there was none left him alive: and they possessed his land. (Numbers
21:34-35)
And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the
people; and much people of Israel died. (Numbers 21:6)
And while the flesh was yet between their teeth, ere it was chewed,
the wrath of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD
smote the people with a very great plague. (Numbers 11:33)
And when the people complained, it displeased the LORD: and the LORD
heard it; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the LORD burnt
among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the
camp. (Numbers 11:1)
For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a
blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing
superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or
crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be
scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a
blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the
offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not
come nigh to offer the bread of his God. He shall eat the bread of his
God, both of the most holy, and of the holy. Only he shall not go in
unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a
blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do
sanctify them. (Leviticus 21:18-23)
This shall be the law of the leper in the day of his cleansing: He
shall be brought unto the priest: And the priest shall go forth out of
the camp; and the priest shall look, and, behold, if the plague of
leprosy be healed in the leper; Then shall the priest command to take
for him that is to be cleansed two birds alive and clean , and cedar
wood, and scarlet, and hyssop: And the priest shall command that one
of the birds be killed in an earthen vessel over running water: As for
the living bird, he shall take it , and the cedar wood, and the
scarlet, and the hyssop, and shall dip them and the living bird in the
blood of the bird that was killed over the running water: And he shall
sprinkle upon him that is to be cleansed from the leprosy seven times,
and shall pronounce him clean, and shall let the living bird loose
into the open field. (Leviticus 14:2-7)
Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an
abomination unto you. (Leviticus 11:12)
Whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
(Jesus, Mat 5:22) [Ye] fools and blind: for whether is greater, the
gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold? (Jesus, Mat 23:17)
Stop the ad-hominem attacks or I will Cc you! Amaya Rodrigo (debian-curiosa)
Comment peut-on identifier un doute avec certitude ? Raymond Devos (Un
ange passe)
Most people are idiots, and being a manager means you'll have to deal
with it, and perhaps more importantly, that they have to deal with
you. Linus Torvalds (Linux kernel management style)
Perl culture is just as important as the language itself because the
culture can fix the language but not vice versa. Larry Wall (Present
Continuous, Future Perfect)
Et ne pensez poinct que la beatitude des heroes & semidieux qui sont
par les champs Elysiens soit en leur Asphodèle ou Ambrosie ou Nectar,
comme disent ces vieilles ycy. Elle est selon mon opinion en ce qu'ils
se torchent le cul d'un oyzon. François Rabelais (Gargantua, Comment
Grantgousier congneut l'esperit merveilleux de Gargantua à l'invention
d'un torchecul)
There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of
satisfaction. Salvador Dali
DUMBLEDORE DIES IN THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK
SEVERUS SNAPE IS THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE
BILL WEASLEY MARRIES FLEUR DELACOUR AND HIS FACE IS MUTILATED
(attention : spoilers) Sam Hocevar
When someone says “not ready for the enterprise”, what they actually
mean is: “They never had to deal with this shit in Star Trek!” Jeff
Waugh
Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny. Bender (Futurama)
My life, and by extension everyone else's is meaningless. Bender (Futurama)
This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me! Bender (Futurama)
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud: after a
while, you realize the pig is enjoying it.
And don't get me wrong - I don't mind getting proven wrong. I change
my opinions the way some people change underwear. And I think that's
ok. Linus Torvalds
Thus far the Roomba has obeyed the Three Laws of Robotics without
incident, and found its place amongst man. However, let us not forget
that insects and cleanliness are natural enemies. The idea of creating
unclean robotic-insects to undermine the actions of the
hygiene-oriented Roomba is the first step in robot class warfare. Josh
"Livestock" Boruff (Something Awful)
I wish to propose for the reader's favourable consideration a doctrine
which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The
doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe in a
proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true.
Bertrand Russell (Sceptical essays)
En premier lieu, il ressort de notre étude que, d'une manière
générale, les achats de CD et de DVD ne sont pas affectés par
l'intensité du copiage sur les réseaux P2P. [...] En revanche,
l'intensité de copiage de musique toutes techniques confondues s'avère
un facteur favorable aux achats de CD et de DVD. Etude "Peer-to-peer,
gravure, échanges" (Paris XI (labo. ADIS) / UFC-Que Choisir),
20/12/2005
Hardware [video] players are notoriously broken in ways like this.
Return that piece of junk, buy an xbox (MS takes a loss of at least
$50 for each one sold, they only make their money back on games..),
and run MPlayer on it... Problem solved. Rich Felker (mencoder-user)
I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH
YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL
WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL
LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY
ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING." And
then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer and run like hell
(bash.org)
On a même brûlé la voiture d'un pote. Ça lui a foutu les boules, mais
il a compris. Bilal (Le Monde, 'Une nuit avec des "émeutiers" qui ont
"la rage"')
Here we see a pantomime horse. It is engaged in a life or death
struggle for a job with a merchant bank. However, his rival employee,
the huge bull pantomime horse, is lying in wait for him. (pantomime
horse behind tree drops sixteen-ton weight on the horse running under
the tree) Poor pantomime horse. Monty Python's Flying Circus (Life and
Death Struggles)
I didn't do it! No one saw me do it! There's no way you can prove
anything! Bart Simpson
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Alfred Adler
One who follows Bayesianity will never assign a probability of 1.0 to
anything. Assigning a probability of 1.0 to some outcome uses up all
your probability mass. If you assign a probability of 1.0 to some
outcome, and reality delivers a different answer, you must have
assigned the actual outcome a probability of 0. This is Bayesianity's
sole mortal sin. Eliezer Yudkowsky (A Technical Explanation of
Technical Explanation [of Bayesian Reasoning])
Only in AI would people devise algorithms literally dumber than a bag
of bricks, boost the results slightly back toward ignorance, and then
argue for the healing power of noise. Eliezer Yudkowsky (A Technical
Explanation of Technical Explanation [of Bayesian Reasoning])
The old "show me the code" trick which people use to quash other
people's objections is rather poor form - we should simply address the
objections as raised. Andrew Morton (lkml)
Q. And where does everyone else get their priors? A. They download
their priors from Kazaa. Eliezer Yudkowsky (An Intuitive Explanation
of Bayesian Reasoning)
That's one sure tip-off to the fact that you're being assaulted by an
Architecture Astronaut: the incredible amount of bombast; the heroic,
utopian grandiloquence; the boastfulness; the complete lack of
reality. And people buy it! The business press goes wild! Joel Spolsky
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Major Briggs (Twin Peaks)
Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances. Herodotus
Apparently there is colour, apparently sweetness, apparently
bitterness, actually there are only atoms and the void. Democritus,
420 BC (from Robinson and Groves 1998)
Diard il dit une chose, Thrun il dit une autre. An anonymous robothologist
Q. Are there any limits to the power of Bayes' Theorem? A. According
to legend, one who fully grasped Bayes' Theorem would gain the ability
to create and physically enter an alternate universe using only
off-the-shelf equipment and a short computer program. One who fully
grasps Bayes' Theorem, yet remains in our universe to aid others, is
known as a Bayesattva. Eliezer Yudkowsky (An Intuitive Explanation of
Bayesian Reasoning)
Elles sont cuitas, les bananas Decoupees en dos, les patatos Philippe Risoli
Mplayer was not written with portability in mind... and it wasnt
written with it being so popular in mind. it just became so, and it
was too late then to change all the code... it must be rewritten from
scratch, but nobody is brave enough (or has enough time) to do it now.
A'rpi (libmpeg2-devel)
You have to regard everything I say with suspicion - I may be trying
to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you inadvertently. J.
Wainwright (Mathematics 140b, U. of Waterloo)
Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a
smurfette. P. Buhr (Computer Science 354, U. of Waterloo)
I get very scared when anyone mentions ponie in the context of being
working. Nicholas Clark (Parrot Sketch)
The meta-summary of "Perl 5.8.? is boring" is that we keep finding
Unicode bugs. Nicholas Clark (Parrot Sketch)
A priori, democracy is held to be good. This is faith-based reasoning.
Russell Nelson, OSI Board of Directors (license-discuss)
Let me explain it again: My way is proper because I am a developer
with cvs write access. Your way is improper because you are a stupid
user whining on our developer list. Rich Felker (mplayer-dev-eng)
There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the
existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and
any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a
heat engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is
obviously impossible. Richard Davisson
(1) The First Law says you can't win: the best you can do is break
even. (2) The Second Law says you can break even only at absolute
zero. (3) The Third Law says you can never reach absolute zero. Walter
J. Moore
However, if you wish, I hereby proclaim that Debian shall release
woody before December 31, 2099, or when it is ready, whichever comes
first. Manoj Srivastava
We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
Linus Torvalds
I agree with you in theory, but in theory, communism works. Homer Simpson
From time to time, (currently, every 3 months) the unstable
distribution enters a state of `code-freeze' in anticipation of
release as a stable version. Debian Policy Manual, Section D.2.14
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
A. H. Weller
I'm not so much a leader, I'm more of a shepherd. Now all the kernel
developers will read that and say, "He's comparing us to sheep". It's
more like herding cats. Linus Torvalds
An easy way to determine if you have enough teamwork to be doomed is
simply to measure how long it takes from the time you decide to go to
lunch together until the time you actually eat. Scott Adams (The
Dilbert principle)
L'échec n'est pas le contraire de la réussite, mais une étape
infructueuse dans l'acte d'apprentissage. Ludovic Bellier
(diffusion-rhonealpes)
They've really got my balls in a juice-maker. Yes, they've really got
my balls in a garden weasel. Boy, honey, they've really got my balls
in a vice grip. Yeah, they've really got my balls in a salad shooter.
Mr Tweek, South Park
I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly
king? Monty Python and the Holy Grail
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Ross Callon (RFC 1925)
C'est jamais trop court. Pierre Bessiere (private conversation)
Communication always fails, except by accident. Osmo Wiio
There is no such thing as a community, only a collection of
individuals. You are Margaret Thatcher and I claim my five cartons of
free school milk. Graham Lee (/.)
Live fast, die old, and make very sure everyone knows you were there. Alan Cox
They see but one thing: we have come and we have stolen their country.
Why would they accept that? David Ben Gurion (quoted in Le Paradoxe
Juif, Nahum Goldmann)
The old will die and the young will forget. David Ben Gurion
Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the
homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of
totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy? Gandhi
(Non-Violence in Peace and War)
The only remaining super-power, her atomic empire stretches from Grand
Quebec and the Duchy of Louisiana, and through the Emirates d'Afrique
Nord to the chain of Ariane Orbital Satellites whose friendly Rayons
de Mort enforce the Pax Francais upon a grateful globe. Kim Newman &
Paul ?McAuley (The 2005 Hugo Award Ceremony Script)
In Pugs land, "Warnock" often translates to "Vadim got a committer
bit" and then "Vadim committed the patch but did not reply to
himself", as is the case here. Autrijus Tank (p6-compilers)
mail is an intelligent mail processing system which has a command
syntax reminiscent of ed(1) mail(1)
I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should
they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God. George Bush
Sr.
The 'wall of separation between church and state' is a metaphor based
on bad history, a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to
judging. It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned. William
Rehnquist (Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court)
For the first time ever, everything is in place for the Battle of
Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ. Ronald Reagan
Civilized people - Muslims, Christians, and Jews - all understand that
the source of freedom and human dignity is the Creator. John Ashcroft
(Attorney General)
We don't have to protect the environment, the Second Coming is at
hand. James Watt (Secretary of the Interior in the Reagan
Administration, Responsible for National Policy regarding the
Environment)
In economics, belief in business cycles goes in and out of style
cyclically. Edward T. Jaynes
The probability of any event is the ratio between the value at which
an expectation depending on the happening of the event ought to be
computed and the value of the thing expected upon its happening.
Thomas Bayes
There are two ways of solving a data analysis problem: the Bayesian
way, and the wrong way. Christopher M. Bishop
Math is hard, let's go shopping. Barbie
No discovery is named for its original discoverer. Stigler's general
law of eponymy
In any field, the Establishment is seldom in pursuit of the truth,
because it is composed of those who sincerely believe that they are
already in possession of it. Edward T. Jaynes
Inside every Non-Bayesian, there is a Bayesian struggling to get out.
Dennis V. Lindley
Il vaut mieux pomper d'arrache pied même s'il ne se passe rien que de
risquer qu'il se passe quelque chose de pire en ne pompant pas.
Jacques Rouxel
Whenever there is a randomized way of doing something, there is a
nonrandomized way that yields better results from the same data, but
requires more thinking. Edward T. Jaynes
X screen hotplug failed every time a presenter went to the podium at
OLS. I was running Windows (it was my wife's laptop and she won't let
me put Linux on it) and the hotplug happened without problem when I
plugged into the projector. Jon Smirl (xorg)
Debian's not really about the users or the software at all. It's a
large flame-generating engine that the cabal uses to heat their
coffee. Andrew Suffield (#debian-devel)
perl -e 'map$FEATURE()'
With tools like [gdb], who needs bugs? Nicholas Clark (hates-software.all)
Kuiken said he wants to work on a prosthetic leg with motors and
sensors that would allow amputees to "feel" when they take steps --
something he sees as particularly timely for injured soldiers
returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. "The future is out there, and I'm
looking forward to it." `Bionic' arm brings back sense of touch
(Chicago Tribune)
I searched debian-policy for porn and didn't find any. MJ Ray (debian-project)
[...] Prose consists less and less of words chosen for the sake of
their meaning, and more and more of phrases tacked together like the
sections of a prefabricated henhouse. George Orwell (Politics and the
English Language, 1946)
I am not, indeed, sure whether it is not true to say that the Milton
who once seemed not unlike a seventeenth-century Shelley had not
become, out of an experience ever more bitter in each year, more alien
to the founder of that Jesuit sect which nothing could induce him to
tolerate. Professor Harold Laski (Essay in Freedom of Expression)
a-the-ism - belief that there is both a definite and indefinite
article Stuart Moore (cam.misc)
21st Century America: a free, affluent society based on capitalism and
representative government that people the world over envy and seek to
emulate. Human Events online -- the National Conservative Weekly
There's just so many extra children, we could just feed the children
to these tigers. We don't need them, we're not doing anything with
them. Tigers are noble and sleek; children are loud and messy. Neko
Case
Of course, once you add in the releasecriers (osx jdk 1.5 is out!),
installfappers (today I installed X, looks interesting), linkhags
(look here pointlessly for 3 seconds while I tell you to go there
there and there!) and plain old yesfags (I agree) you're left with
about 3 worthwhile entries a day in this particular community. How's
that for conclusive proof that java people are clueless self-absorbed
soulless fuckfaces? The ?BileBlog ("Blog Tedium")
The phrase "apply the sprms of a grpprl (or papx or sepx)" used later
in this document means to fetch the 0th sprm recorded in the grpprl
and perform the action for that sprm, fetch the first sprm and perform
its action, and continue this procedure until all sprms in the grpprl
(or papx or sepx) have been processed. Microsoft Word 97 Binary File
Format with ?BiDirectional Text
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have
C++ in mind. Alan Kay
People ridiculously overvalue aesthetics and beauty when evaluating
products. It's one of the reasons iPods, and, for that matter, Keanu
Reeves, are so successful. Joel Spolsky
Perl hackers can be surprisingly doctrinaire. Mark-Jason Dominus (hop-discuss)
The fact that everybody else does it some other way only means that
they are wrong. Linus Torvalds (lkml)
Nope. System calls aren't slow. What crappy OS are you running? Linus
Torvalds (lkml)
In the post-9/11 world, you can blame your stupidity on living in the
post-9/11 world. ?MikeXpop (/.)
When it comes to Unicode, most other OO languages are falling into the
Lisp trap of expecting the user think like the computer rather than
the computer like the user. That's one of the few ideas from Lisp I'm
trying very hard not to steal. Larry Wall (perl6-language)
Not having the choice streamlines the thought process. Guido van
Rossum (about removing lambda from Python)
A universal convention supplies all of maintainability, clarity,
consistency, and a foundation for good programming habits too. What it
doesn't do is insist that you follow it against your will. That's
Python! Tim Peters (comp.lang.python)
If you're interested in text-based I/O with no data structures, forget
about C++ and Caml, and use Perl. Xavier Leroy (caml-list)
[Perl is] more like a tank than a mine field. It may be ugly, but it
shoots straight and gets you where you're going, if you don't mind a
few squashed daisies. Larry Wall
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ?(?)
People please, if you guys are going to brandon each other to death
then please do it in public. I'm intrigued. BTW, I heard that the GPL
is for homozygous, xenophobic dendrophiles but then I'd sell my left
sole for AU$500bn (13 Francs). Jon Harrop (caml-list)
So I said, narrow the focus. Your "use case" should be, there's a 22
year old college student living in the dorms. How will this software
get him laid? Jamie Zawinski, about designing social software
There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to
make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the
other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious
deficiencies. C.A.R. Hoare
Beware of the Turing tar-pit in which everything is possible but
nothing of interest is easy. Alan Perlis
Of course, from the LISP point of view, virtually anything that's done
by other languages is conceptually ad-hoc, and can easily be added by
extending the language. ?;-) Thomas Fischbacher
When you have no nails your hammer grows restless, and you begin to
throw sideways glances at screws and pieces of string. Jarkko
Hietaniemi
Je me resigne, pour y garder ma place et la defendre certes tant bien
que mal, a produire et reproduire mon meme petit article d'un congres,
d'une revue a l'autre, auquel je fais simplement subir vers la fin de
chaque saison quelques subtiles et anodines modifications, bien
accessoires... Mais cependant croyez-moi, confrere, la typhoide, de
nos jours, est aussi galvaudee que la mandoline ou le banjo. C'est a
crever je vous dis ! Chacun veut en jouer un petit air a sa facon.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine (Voyage au bout de la nuit)
Entre autres fadaises, j'ai songe a l'etude de l'influence comparative
du chauffage central sur les hemorroides dans les pays du Nord et du
Midi. [...] Une telle etude convenablement conduite et trainee en
longueur me conciliera l'Academie j'en suis persuade, qui compte un
nombre majoritaire de vieillards que ces problemes de chauffage et
d'hemorroides ne peuvent laisser indifferents. Louis-Ferdinand Celine
(Voyage au bout de la nuit)
Quand je l'abordai dans ma jeunesse la typhoide, nous n'etions que
quelques chercheurs a prospecter ce domaine, et nous pouvions, en
somme, aisement nous compter, nous faire valoir mutuellement... Tandis
qu'a present, que vous dire ? Il en arrive de Laponie mon cher ! du
Perou ! Tous les jours davantage ! Il en vient de partout des
specialistes ! On en fabrique en serie au Japon ! Louis-Ferdinand
Celine (Voyage au bout de la nuit)
Le veritable savant met vingt bonnes annees en moyenne a effectuer la
grande decouverte, celle qui consiste a se convaincre que le delire
des uns ne fait pas du tout le bonheur des autres et que chacun
ici-bas se trouve indispose par la marotte du voisin. Louis-Ferdinand
Celine (Voyage au bout de la nuit)
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a
corner and cry by myself for hours. Eric Idle
It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by
statistics. George Bernard Shaw
Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives
you nor allows you to forgive yourself. George Bernard Shaw
A man never tells you anything until you contradict him. George Bernard Shaw
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you,
then you win. M. Gandhi
Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad-hoc,
informally-specified bug-ridden slow implementation of half of Common
Lisp. Greenspun's Tenth Rule of Programming
A part ceux qui ne l ’utilisent (Internet) que pour bander, gagner en
bourse et échanger du courrier électronique, qui est prêt à dépenser
de l’argent à fonds perdus pour avoir son petit site personnel ? Des
tarés, des maniaques, des fanatiques, des mégalomanes, des
paranoïaques, des nazis, des délateurs, qui trouvent là un moyen de
diffuser mondialement leurs délires, leurs haines, ou leurs
obsessions. Internet, c’est la Kommandantur du monde ultra-libéral.
C’est là où, sans preuve, anonymement, sous pseudonyme, on diffame, on
fait naître des rumeurs, on dénonce sans aucun contrôle et en toute
impunité. Vivre sous l’Occupation devait être un cauchemar. On pouvait
se faire arrêter à tout moment sur dénonciation d’un voisin qui avait
envoyé une lettre anonyme à la Gestapo. Internet offre à tous les
collabos de la planète la jouissance impunie de faire payer aux autres
leur impuissance et leur médiocrité. C’est la réalité inespérée d’un
rêve pour toutes les dictatures de l’avenir. Philippe Val
You know Kyoto isn't about global warming or the environment. It is
about tying developed countries hands industrially, while undeveloped
countries, like France, have more room to grow. an AC (slashdot)
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and
cats. Albert Schweitzer
People pay money for this CRAP? I can get disk corruption on Linux for
free, if that's what I want. Nicholas Clark, about HFS+
(we.hates-software.com)
Never attribute to human stupidity that which can be adequately
explained by GNU Libtool. Scott James Remnant
Comparing apples with oranges is perfectly reasonable when you've
decided to replace your apples with oranges. Juliusz Chroboczek
(darcs-users)
According to Richard Stallman, 1.6.1 is not GPL-compatible, because
its license has a choice of law clause. According to CNRI, however,
Stallman's lawyer has told CNRI's lawyer that 1.6.1 is "not
incompatible" with the GPL. python -c 'license()'
And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?" They
replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of
our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very
selfhood revealed." And Jesus replied, "What?"
I'll take hard-to-read code over /dev/null for most things... Keith
Packard (xorg)
Disclaimer: I work at the reg*.{[hc],sym} like a novice alchemist: I
pour the blue liquid on the red liquid. If it doesn't blow up on my
face, I proceed to turn up the flame under the blue liquid, and so on.
I have very little idea of what I am really doing, I just like the
pretty colors ?:-) Jarkko Hietaniemi
...Now I had improved the program to the point where it would not work
at all. George Greenstein ("Frozen Star")
It would be nice to be able to write that kind of thing in the
discussion of an academic paper: "It was disappointing that we found
no correlation between the use of flouride toothpaste and cancers of
the mouth and throat [since a positive result would have got me a
paper in the British Medical Journal instead of The Annals of the
Royal Society of Bounced Submissions]. Then again, I suppose it isn't
actually [because we're not all going to die horribly]." Damian
Counsell
Bravely reimplemented by the knights who say "NIH". Rik Van Riel
Gotta love the Mac logics: "Is $FOO broken?" - "Nope, $BAR works. Very
few care about $FOO being broken". Al Viro, about copying resource
forks on Mac OS X (lkml)
Ooh, mommy, mommy, what I have now doesn't work in this extremely
unlikely circumstance, so I'll just throw it away and write something
completely new. Linus Torvalds
Either become reasonable or be pepared to be treated as a troll. Jörg
Schilling, to Alan Cox (lkml)
I call this approach to hacking 'Mortonomics'. Time has shown that by
proposing a really ugly kernel hack to Andrew Morton, inevitably, he
rewrites it as god intended it to be. Dave Jones (blog)
Oh, please. Go and fix a bug or something. Bas Zoetekouw (debian-devel)
There is this special biologist word we use for 'stable'. It is
'dead'. Jack Cohen
Thompson's rule for first-time telescope makers: "It is faster to make
a four-inch mirror, then a six-inch mirror, than to make a six-inch
mirror." (Programming Pearls, Communications of the ACM, September
1985)
Basically it's not an answer to say "Ah, yes, look at this great
language OCaml!" when in practice all you're ever doing is writing C.
Brandon J. Van Every
Si quelqu'un comprend ce que j'ai dit, c'est que je me suis mal
exprime. Jean-Luc Godard
Quel ennui ! C'est toujours la même histoire ! Quand on a fini de
construire sa maison, on remarque qu'on a, sans s'en rend compte,
appris en la bâtissant une chose qu'il aurait absolument fallu savoir
- avant de commencer. L'éternel et douloureux "trop tard !" -
mélancolie de tout ce qui est achevé... Friedrich Nietzsche (Par-delà
le bien et le mal)
How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an
enemy. Friedrich Nietzsche
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the
same good things for the first time. Friedrich Nietzsche
I think you learn to program mostly by programming. The most a teacher
can do is suggest interesting paths; for example, by setting
interesting problems to solve, or by describing mistakes other people
have made. Paul Graham
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of
the beholder. Laurence J. Peter
Python's syntax succeeds in combining the mistakes of Lisp and
Fortran. I do not contrue that as progress. Larry Wall
(perl6-language)
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
Albert Einstein
The Pope density of the Vatican is about 2.5/km^2. Richard Kettlewell
By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away. Oh, how
does it work? It doesn't work. Uh-huh. It's just a stupid rock.
Uh-huh. But I don't see any tigers around, do you? ...Lisa, I would
like to buy your rock. The Simpsons
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the
poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal
bread. Anatole France
If you use a hammer to tighten a screw, do you also complain about
unexpected side effects? Well, tightening a screw with a hammer works
to some extent. At least, it works a lot better than driving in a nail
with a screwdriver. Jens Schmalzing (debian-powerpc)
Mes amis, je vous annonce que, ce soir, nous allons recevoir une bonne
raclée. Jean-Pierre Raffarin, 28 mars 2004 (cité par le Canard
Enchaîné, 31/03/2004).
Je vais vous dire un secret : j'ai des amis intellectuels. Jean-Pierre
Raffarin (Libération, 09/03/2004)
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Gotta do the right thing in the long run, no matter how much merengue
and whipped cream's on the line. Dan Sugalski
11900 You cannot just paste code with no understanding of what is
going on and expect it to work.
11901 You can't just make shit up and expect the computer to know what
you mean, Retardo!
11902 You said it didn't work, but you didn't say what it would have
done if it had worked.
11903 What are you really trying to accomplish here?
11904 Who the fuck cares which one is faster?
11905 Now is the time in our program where you look at the manual.
11906 Look at the error message! Look at the error message!
11907 Looking for a compiler bug is the strategy of LAST resort. LAST resort.
11908 Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
11909 Bad programmer! No cookie!
11910 I see you omitted $! from the error message. It won't tell you
what went wrong if you don't ask it to.
11911 You wrote the same thing twice here. The cardinal rule of
programming is that you never ever write the same thing twice.
11912 Evidently it's important to you to get the wrong answer as
quickly as possible.
11913 Gee, I don't know. I wonder what the manual says about that?
11914 Well, no duh. That's because you ignored the error message, dimwit.
11915 Only Sherlock Holmes can debug the program by pure deduction
from the output. You are not Sherlock Holmes. Run the fucking debugger
already.
11916 Always ignore the second error message unless the meaning is obvious.
11917 Read. Learn. Evolve.
11918 Well, then get one that does do auto-indent. You can't do good
work with bad tools.
11919 No. You must believe the ERROR MESSAGE. You MUST believe the
error message.
11920 The error message is the Truth. The error message is God.
11921 It could be anything. Too bad you didn't bother to diagnose the
error, huh?
11922 You don't suppress error messages, you dumbass, you PAY
ATTENTION and try to understand them.
11923 Never catch a signal except as a last resort.
11924 Well, if you don't know what it does, why did you put it in your program?
11925 Gosh, that wasn't very bright, was it?
11926 That's like taking a crap on someone's doorstep and then ringing
the doorbell to ask for toilet paper.
11927 A good approach to that problem would be to hire a computer programmer.
11928 First get a book on programming. Then read it. Then write the program.
11929 First ask yourself `How would I do this without a computer?'
Then have the computer do it the same way.
11930 Would you like to see my rate card?
11931 I think you are asking the wrong question here.
11932 Holy cow.
11933 Because it's a syntax error.
11934 Because this is Perl, not C.
11935 Because this is Perl, not Lisp.
11936 Because that's the way it is.
11937 Because.
11938 If you have `some weird error', the problem is probably with
your frobnitzer.
11939 Because the computer cannot read your mind. Guess what? I cannot
read your mind either.
11940 You said `It doesn't work'. The next violation will be punished by death.
11941 Of course it doesn't work! That's because you don't know what
you are doing!
11942 Sure, but you have to have some understanding also.
11943 Ah yes, and you are the first person to have noticed this bug
since 1987. Sure.
11944 Yes, that's what it's supposed to do when you say that.
11945 Well, what did you expect?
11946 Perhaps you have forgotten that this is an engineering
discipline, not some sort of black magic.
11947 You know, this sort of thing is amenable to experimental observation.
11948 Perhaps your veeblefitzer is clogged.
11949 What happens when you try?
11950 Now you are just being superstitious.
11951 Your question has exceeded the system limit for pronouns in a
single sentence. Please dereference and try again.
11952 In my experience that is a bad strategy, because the people who
ask such questions are the ones who paste the answer into their
program without understanding it and then complain that it `does not
work'.
11953 Of course, this is a heuristic, which is a fancy way of saying
that it doesn't work.
11954 If your function is written correctly, it will handle an empty
array the same way as a nonempty array.
11955 When in doubt, use brute force.
11956 Well, it might be more intuitive that way, but it would also be useless.
11957 Show the code.
11958 The bug is in you, not in Perl.
11959 Cargo-cult.
11960 So you threw in some random punctuation for no particular
reason, and then you didn't get the result you expected. Hmmmm.
11961 How should I know what is wrong when I haven't even seen the
code? I am not clairvoyant.
11962 How should I know how to do what you want when you didn't say
what you wanted to do?
11963 It's easy to get the wrong answer in O(1) time.
11964 I guess this just goes to show that you can lead a horse to
water, but you can't make him drink it.
11999 You are a stupid asshole. Shut the fuck up.
Mark-Jason Dominus's Good Advice #
Every old idea will be proposed again with a different name and a
different presentation, regardless of whether it works. RFC 1925
Anyway... thanks for your thoughtful response. Had I posted the
message I did to a Java group, I would surely have at least 500
messages kindly informing me that their procmail now filters all my
mail to /dev/null. John Goerzen, after saying what's wrong in Ocaml in
[ocaml-beginners]
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and
certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen
A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just
like facts have no place within organized religion! The Simpsons
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
immortality through not dying. Woody Allen
You see, Officer Graham is a very clever man. A very clever man. He's
so clever, he managed to be at least two hundred and fifty years (and
friends, that's how long ago Thomas Bayes died) behind the state of
the art of text categorisation but at the same time, Officer Graham
told us exactly the best way to do all these things and so everyone
thought that what Officer Graham was doing was something original and
new, and nobody realised that this had all been done by a poor
Englishman not two hundred and fifty years ago. Simon Cozens
Not CP, not multithreading can make programmer happy, but CPAN can.
Alexander Danilov (Caml-list)
Which probably means we have to force bitshifts to +, so we
can tell the difference between >>+>+>+getting to the point where we want to allow disambiguating underscores
in operators: >>+> as a qw//
replacement and allow spaces: >> +choice of core language operators
In fact, in Linux we did try C++ once already, back in 1992. It sucks.
Trust me - writing kernel code in C++ is a BLOODY STUPID IDEA. Linus
Torvalds
Independent thinkers tend to ALWAYS have someone not agreeing with
them. It's the non-thinkers that always come in legions. John Callari
Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous? A: A canary with
the super-user password.
XML is syntactic arsenic. Patrick Logan
Structure is nothing if it is all you got. Skeletons spook people if
[they] try to walk around on their own. I really wonder why XML does
not. Erik Naggum (comp.lang.lisp)
The more interesting your types get, the less fun it is to write them
down! Benjamin Pierce
Don't you hate code that's not properly indented? Making it part of
the syntax guarantees that all code is properly indented! Guido van
Rossum (Slashdot)
[...] Inheritance is a very flexible mechanism. It's possible and in
fact fairly common to misuse it, but that's not a reason to distrust
it systematically as seems to have become the fashion. Bertrand Meyer
(ITWorld.com)
Job security begins with C. It has no memory management model except
what grows in the programmer's head. This programmer cannot be fired.
Mark-Jason Dominus (EFNet #perl, 19 July 1999)
Somebody somewhere came up with the concept of googlipsism - sort of
like solipsism, but the idea is that if Google doesn't know about
something, it can't exist. I tried to remember who it was, so I could
quote them correctly, but Google couldn't find "googlipsism". Oh dear.
I know what that means. Simon Cozens
Tell you what. Let's just issue a mandatory warning at the startup of
every Perl script that says: "Don't be stupid." Larry Wall
Not only does Jesus save, but he makes nightly off-site backups.
I am nit-picking the nitpicker and you boys better hope to never be
caught by me spelling "megaHertz" as "megahertz." Purl Gurl (clpm)
"Interactive" is a synonym for "manual". Charlie Gibbs
I don't even think this is anyone's fault. How about Tim Berners-Lee?
Have you blamed him for anything lately? No? Well, here's a perfect
opportunity! Peter Da Silva (hates-software.all)
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. Steve
Haflich (comp.lang.c++)
Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad hoc
informally-specified bug-ridden slow implementation of half of Common
Lisp. Philip Greenspun
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